For the 11th time, I begin the New Year with a “word” exercise that’s designed to remind, motivate, and guide my behavior on my road to making the New Year my best year yet.
Historically, I’ve done the My 3 Words exercise, which are simply 3 words that set my theme for the year.
My 3 words are printed at the top of my Daily Outcomes sheet (my prioritized to-do list) so I see them multiple times a day.
By being thoughtful when I identify my 3 words and reviewing them daily, I have an inescapable reminder of my key focus for the year. These words help me stay on track, on plan, and on point.
In today’s post, I discuss how well I executed on my 3 words from 2024 and then reveal why and how I’m changing the exercise for 2025.
Past 3 Words
Here are my 3 words and their associated blog posts from previous years.
2015: Implement, Energy, Relationships
2016: Launch, Leverage, Connect
2017: Discipline, Deliver, Score
2018: Spark, Community, Savor
2019: Practice, Voice, Test
2020: Pace, Process, Prioritize
2021: Long-Form, Core, Connections
2022: 4 Filters Exercise: Deep Learning, Content Creation, Flexibility, Look Forward To
2023: Wind, Wayfind, Sense
2024: Shed, Embody, Structuring
Review of My 3 Words for 2024
Last year was the second year that I focused My 3 Words more on personal growth than on professional growth.
Similar to what they say in the field of psychology, I think your success in business is generally limited to—or accelerated by—how evolved you are as a human. (Note: We’ve seen glaring exceptions to this in recent years!)
Let me start by saying I fell far short of effectively using My 3 Words as a roadmap for 2024. Clearly, I still have a lot of evolving to do!
As a result of falling short last year and having done the exercise for a decade, I decided it’s time to mix things up and do something different for 2025. More on that below, but first, here’s my scorecard for 2024.
Shed
The first few decades of adulthood are typically a period of acquiring things like a house, furniture, cars, collectibles, toys, and other assorted material things. And I certainly did my fair share of that.
Now that I’m in my seventh decade, it feels natural to cleanse myself of the trappings of stuff that have simply become extra weight rather than an enhancement to my life. And the physicality of stuff does more than take up space, it also sucks up attention.
“Shed” was my attempt at being conscious of what was cluttering my life, both physically and mentally, and then intentionally letting it go.
The year started well as my wife and I moved from Wisconsin to Oregon in March of 24 and we definitely “shed” a substantial amount of stuff to make our cross-country move more manageable.
I even sold my car in Wisconsin so we could drive together to Oregon in one car. And as of January 1, 2025, we still have just one car between the two of us, although I suspect we’ll get back to being a two-car family within the next few months.
Throughout the year, I think I did a decent job of resisting the impulse to buy more stuff, whether it was small things like clothes or bigger material things like a boat.
There was also a work-related aspect to “shed.” I wanted to narrow the scope of things that I worked on and put more effort into the things that remained.
One unintended consequence of narrowing the scope of work was I stopped writing my Good to Know newsletter in February of 24.
As much as I love to write, something had to give in early 24. A perfect storm of good things—moving to Oregon, business and personal travel, and a full schedule of coaching and podcast clients—kept me busy and engaged.
With everything going on, I needed to free up time, so I decided to shed the Good to Know newsletter (hopefully, just temporarily) and focus on my client work and travel.
Work “shedding” also involved upping my editing game with my podcasts.
I made a special effort in 2024 to “cut” more from my podcast recordings and just keep what moved the podcast forward. In one case, I ended up cutting 50% of the recording until just the heart of the insights remained.
As I enter 2025, I sense that the word “shed” will continue to be top of mind even though it won’t be one of my official “words.”
Overall, I’d give myself a B+ on “shed” and I’m optimistic that I’ve turned the corner on moving from accumulating stuff to living a life with an intentionally curated list of what is meaningful to me.
Embody
My second word from last year flowed naturally from the first. What’s left after I “shed,” I wanted to focus on embodying.
Last year I described how I liked the idea of a dynamic tension between my two words “shed” and “embody.”
“Shed” is about letting go; “embody” is about embracing.
My intention with those two words was to strike a meaningful balance between embracing and appreciating what comes to me while not becoming so attached to it that it causes pain when it inevitably flows away from me.
Interestingly, last year’s focus on those two words reminded me that I can be a sentimental guy. I like to hold on to things that have a long history with me or my family and bring back good feelings.
With those words top of mind in 2024, I was able to let go of some of the lesser sentimental things to make room to more fully appreciate and embody what remained.
I’d give myself a B when it comes to “embody.” While 2024 was a year of big accomplishments and my second-best financial year ever (2022 was the best), I feel like I was more task-oriented and focused on “getting work done” as opposed to embodying a holistic, flow-based way of getting results.
I may be splitting hairs here when talking about being task-oriented versus embodying a flow-based way of getting results but I feel like I need to continue working on the “way” I approach my work instead of just getting stuff done. More on that below.
Structuring
Okay, here’s where I struck out.
The idea behind “structuring” was to start the process of organizing my decades worth of content into a structured format that I could train an AI on to make it easy to access my content by simply prompting the AI.
I figured it would be a multi-year project and my goal in 2024 was “to get started on organizing” and develop a roadmap to make it happen.
Well, I did start it but I pretty quickly realized that I hadn’t thought through “why” I was doing this. When I came up with the idea a year ago, it sounded like a great idea but when I started working on it, I realized that my why was more selfish than altruistic.
What I mean by that is, I have an insatiable appetite for learning. I thought that this AI idea would be a great way to sift through all my content and make it freely available to others through prompting an AI.
But when I went through an exercise and envisioned what the impact of having completed this project would be, I realized that my why around this “structuring” idea wasn’t really about finding a way to incorporate or embody what I’ve learned over the years through reading, writing, podcasting, interacting with others, and personal experience.
It was more about feeding my appetite for learning rather than creating another “content” program in a world that is awash in content.
So, early in 2024, I stopped working on the “structuring” idea and started to contemplate a better way to feed my need to consolidate and reinforce my learning.
I’m giving myself a D on this word instead of an F because, while I made very little progress on it, I discovered what I was truly after. So I think that’s worth one letter grade of progress.
My New Exercise for 2025: My 3 Polarities
I think My 3 Words exercise has served its purpose for me and run its course.
For years, it served as a compass for my personal and professional growth and provided clarity and focus for the year ahead. As I looked at the words each day, they stood as a powerful anchor for my intentions and reminded me daily of the qualities I wanted to embody and the goals I sought to achieve.
However, as I’ve grown and reflected on my journey, I’ve realized that life often unfolds not in singular themes, but in the dynamic interplay between opposing forces.
As I mentioned above, I liked the idea of the dynamic tension between “shed” and “embody” from last year’s words. Now, I’m going to formalize that idea and explore polarities—pairs of words that represent the tension and harmony between opposing yet complementary concepts.
This shift feels like a natural evolution.
Just as life is a balance of contrasts—action and rest, growth and reflection, giving and receiving—polarities allow for a more nuanced exploration of the rhythms that shape us.
It’s not about choosing one over the other, but about navigating the balance between the two, finding wisdom in their interplay, and allowing them to guide me in a more holistic way. This approach reflects where I am now—a stage of growth that seeks to integrate opposites and embrace the richness of life’s cycles.
My 3 Polarities for 2025
There’s an old quote from Richard Branson that has stuck with me for many years. He said, “I don’t think of work as work and play as play, it’s all living.”
Similarly, in recent years, My 3 Words, and now My 3 Polarities, make little distinction between the personal and professional. I view them as a guide for living. That way, I don’t have to ask myself, “Does this apply to work or to my personal life?’ And if I do, the answer is, “Yes.”
Horizon – Hearth
The Horizon – Hearth polarity reflects the dynamic tension between expansive ambition and grounded presence, a balance between the call to explore what lies beyond and the commitment to nurture what is near and dear. It draws on the metaphorical power of the Horizon as the distant future and possibilities, and the Hearth as the center of home, warmth, and immediate life.
As I spend more time sailing, I find more of my language is infused with nautical themes. On the water, I’m constantly scanning the horizon. At times, the horizon “arrives” when we make landfall, but in open ocean, it is always out of reach.
Looking back on my life, I’ve done most things “by the book.” With rare exceptions, I’ve lived a rather linear life with predictable milestones sprinkled in and a handful of brief adventurous moments.
Yet, I find myself drawn to people who lived not according “tradition,” but who followed what moved them, what “freed” them, without worrying about how “society” viewed their choices.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I have a very sweet life with an amazing wife and incredible kids and grandkids and I wouldn’t trade them for all the Bitcoin in the world.
I’m now at a life stage where our kids are grown, we have our health and financial resources, and maybe, just maybe, it’s time to reinvent and make a non-linear move.
In this context, Horizon represents vision, adventure, and reinvention in this stage of life. It symbolizes the external pull toward realizing dreams instead of just reading about them, and pursuing the less-traveled path. It’s about looking out, branching out, and exploring new frontiers.
By contrast, Hearth signifies home, grounding, and connection to everything that is wonderful in my day-to-day life. It represents the warmth of my family relationships, the rituals of daily living (like my morning coffee!), and the convenience of suburban life. It’s my source of comfort, stability, and the richness that being with family can provide.
This Horizon-Hearth polarity really speaks to me because both are key aspects of my existence, yet going “too” far in one direction would be like purposely chopping off an arm.
It’s a dynamic that requires me to weigh and apportion the relative importance of my values. Not every value is equally important and the relative importance of a particular value can ebb and flow over time through different life stages.
I suspect that pursuing Horizon will be more challenging to me than staying fully ensconced in Hearth. Hearth is warmth, comfort, and love. Yet I feel there’s a Horizon itch that has yet to be scratched.
As I live this polarity in 2025, a key question I’ll regularly ask myself is: “Am I scratching the itch for the horizon while staying anchored in the warmth of my hearth?”
Horizon is my way of ensuring that I feed my need for a new call, to reach for what’s possible, while Hearth ensures I remain anchored in the love of family.
Together, they create a rhythm of outward exploration and inward return.
Slack – Flood
Here’s that nautical theme again!
The Slack – Flood polarity is meant to remind me that life is not a non-stop green light. There is such a thing as “the pause that refreshes!”
In 2024, I was sick for a total of about 5 weeks. Fortunately, it was nothing debilitating, but it was highly unusual as I’m normally quite healthy.
I attribute part of the sickness to living on the go too much and neglecting rest.
In the nautical world, slack tide is the period of stillness between the ebb (retreating) and flood (advancing) tides. In slack tide, the water is calm. It’s neither retreating nor advancing.
In life, Slack is my reminder that a good day is not always measured by how much of my “to do” list is checked off. A good day could be a day of “slacking off.” It could be a day of rest, of reflection, of recovery.
I have to get over thinking that a day of Slack is a day of no progress.
In music, there’s a concept that goes back centuries and more recently was articulated by Miles Davis as, “It’s not the notes you play, it’s the silence between.” It suggests that music’s emotional depth and meaning often emerge from what is not played as much as from what is played.
Likewise, I want to reframe rest or Slack as an equally important component of progress.
Flood tide is the energetic surge of water rushing forward, filling the shorelines, and bringing dynamic movement. It creates a current that you can either flow with, or struggle against.
In life, Flood symbolizes momentum, action, and growth. Flood time is about harnessing and directing energy, moving with purpose, and checking off the to do phase of the day.
My Slack – Flood lens is my sticky note to remember that thriving doesn’t come from constant motion or the relentless pursuit of productivity.
Instead, it’s about honoring the body’s natural rhythm of rest, reflection, and recalibration during the Slack moments, so I can fully harness my energy and focus when it’s time to surge forward during the Flood. It’s about engaging deeply and effectively without depleting myself.
As I live this polarity in 2025, a key question I’ll regularly ask myself is: “Have I allowed myself enough slack to be fully ready for the next flood?”
And I’ll be challenging myself to equate Slack with progress instead of just treading water.
Control – Flow
In my coaching work with financial advisors, I’ve developed a framework that’s quite effective in getting results. I can summarize the framework in three words: Planning, Execution, and Accountability.
We start by putting a plan in place and describing the desired future state, then we define our current status, and then we identify the steps needed to get from where we are today to where we desire to be in the future.
Step two is to execute on the steps and, based on feedback and results, we adjust the steps and the plan as needed.
And finally, step three is like working with a personal trainer—participating in the coaching calls leads to accountability for doing the work.
This is very much a Control structure where we’re trying to achieve specific outcomes by taking deliberate action. It’s about taking charge, getting into the details, and using a systems thinking mental model to accomplish the goals.
And it works!
But, adding nuance to the process can make it even better.
Let me get a little “woo woo” for a moment.
In 2012, I decided to leave my job as the head of Peak Advisor Alliance, which is now called Carson Coaching. I had no idea what I was going to do after I left other than I thought I wanted to do something entrepreneurial.
For various reasons, over the next couple years, I pursued a dual path of trying to find a new job while also trying to figure out an entrepreneurial venture. Going down two incompatible roads led to splitting my energy and both roads were a bust.
It wasn’t until a random email arrived from an advisor who asked if I would coach her that my fortunes began to change.
Quickly, I decided that going the entrepreneurial route would be the ONLY path I would pursue and I was effectively “burning the boat” of trying to get hired by another company.
And guess what happened?
My entrepreneurial work started to take off and eventually led to me being more financially successful as an entrepreneur than I was as a highly paid minority partner in someone else’s company.
I share that story because it reminds me that beyond Control is this state called Flow.
When you align your energy, your thinking, and your commitment in one direction, and then tap into the Flow, this power source is far greater than any effort to Control outcomes through methodical, logical actions.
It’s like hitching a ride on the jet stream.
In various circumstances, I’ve been heavily weighted in either the Control side or the Flow side. And, not surprisingly, like chocolate chip cookie dough, too much in one direction can lead to diminishing returns.
You need both.
History suggests that my natural leaning is toward Control. I like to think things through, follow processes, and measure and track results.
Fortunately, I’ve known my Control tendency for many years and I’ve actively sought to balance it with Flow actions and a Flow mindset.
In 2025, I want to recommit to fine-tuning my realization of the Control – Flow dynamic. Rather than being in a Control OR Flow state, I want it to be a “Yes And” state. I want to see how Control and Flow can work harmoniously rather than as discrete things.
I also want to bring this dynamic more to the forefront in my coaching as well.
It’s possible I lean too far in the Control direction and I’m excited to see what can be realized through tapping a bit deeper into the Flow current.
As I live this polarity in 2025, a key question I’ll regularly ask myself is: “Can I loosen my grip and tap into the flow?”
Shorthand Way of Thinking About These Polarities
To capture in 3 sentences what I just spent about 1,500 words describing, here’s how I distinguish the 3 polarities.
- Horizon – Hearth: Pursuing dreams while not losing sight of what’s amazing in my current day-to-day life.
- Slack – Flood: Adjusting my pace to optimize my energy.
- Control – Flow: Blending detailed planning with tapping into the universe’s current.
My 3 Polarities Tips
Here are some practical tips for creating a “My 3 Polarities” exercise:
- Identify Key Tensions: Reflect on areas of your life where you feel pulled between two opposing but complementary forces (e.g., fear vs. courage, ambition vs. contentment, chart vs. explore, journey vs. destination, reinvention vs. continuity).
- Choose Meaningful Pairs: Select three polarities that resonate deeply with your values and current life stage. Ensure each pair addresses a distinct aspect of your life, such as goals, energy, or mindset.
- Define Each Side: Clearly articulate what each side of the polarity represents for you, including the values and behaviors they inspire.
- Create Guiding Questions: Develop a key question for each polarity to guide your decisions and self-reflection (e.g., “If I wasn’t fearful, what decision would I make?”).
- Track Progress: Use a journal or weekly reflection to assess how well you’re honoring both sides of each polarity.
- Integrate Into Daily Life: Regularly remind yourself of the polarities and apply them to real-life choices, whether at work, home, or in personal growth. Print them or have them on your computer screen and see them daily.
Now it’s your turn. Take a first pass at your My 3 Polarities exercise for 2025 and then set it aside. Revisit what you wrote the next day and see if they still feel good.
Final Thought
There’s no reason to keep this exercise a secret. Share it with your family, friends, and even your clients.
I’d love to hear what yours are so email me your polarities at ssanduski@belayadvisor.com.
Remember, fine-tuning the dynamic tension between two polarities can drastically change your life.
Let’s make 2025 a great year!
